Not a moment too late, but a moment too strong.
For in a minute there are many days,
Breathing of blades.
I stay in 3AM,
Caught in time's web.
Devoured by the progression of love,
To the point of destruction.
When did you happen?
Like a moment of creation,
A series of cosmic impact,
Neither inside or outside, magical and abstract,
Every second worse than the last;
There is no when if time does not exist.
What time is, is complicated.
Who it is, is easier to explain.
I walk in the schizo parts of her;
Golden hallway, narrow, slowly moving into my broken paradise;
Tempting me with persistent whispers.
I would listen to her breathing,
I would see her through the details of God,
I smell her in my mind,
Locked in the depths of my filth.
She is formidable, frightening but not evil.
She is the opposite of meditation,
But I am devoted until decomposition.
She has given sleeping pills to my time,
And let me taste her lips of yesterday’s wine.
She is a modern building with revival skin,
Electrifying nerves, open and exposed.
Broken depressed and emotionally vacant,
Exceedingly could, enslaving soul.
Her blood spreads infinitely,
Like roots in search of water.
In bibles, legends and myths,
She has forever been the subject of matter.
She is the unchained chemical reaction provoked in me,
Yet only I possess the key.
Only I possess her body,
Only I committed murder,
And now, then, I commit suicide.
I have died in my mind,
At the right place and the right time.
Am I transforming into something else,
Or is it eating me alive,
I only know that she was, she ceased to be and I live it there.
My mind is turning into this volcanic eruption,
Burning away my thoughts and making me exhale smoke.
The smoke of memory, the smoke of pain…
Replacing the blood running through my veins.
This magma of tears igniting this skin of mine,
While agony sinks deeper into me.
I slowly unite with my environment,
Transforming into nothing more than elements.
Evaporating into the air,
Melting and mixing with this infinity of dust.
I become less than nothing as you desired profoundly
But you’ll breathe me into you unwantedly.
I’ll gently be a part of you,
To either feel you like I always wanted to
Or to turn you into my dying design,
My love story while we rot together along the line.
My heart is a garden
Of infinite hope
Of love that ripens
Of never ending beauty that glows
My heart is a garden
Where gentle wind will caress your skin
Where silence will put you to sleep
Where everyone would like to be
You that my body hates
But that my heart desires
You that ripped my soul
But that I adore
I want to cry
I want to shout
But no matter what I do
I’m always thinking of you
Why can’t I stop loving someone so deeply?
My mind tells me to
But it’s my heart that controls my feelings
Despite that you’ve said words,
That moved me extremely
But I want you to know
That what I feel for you is sincere
I just can’t find words to express my emotions
Because those words that I want to use
Are way too weak to say what I should
So before I finish exposing my love to you
I want you to understand
That I love you with every last breath
That my lungs could possibly contain.
Each night, there is a lake of repetition that rises.
Memories of your liquid words spreading thin at my feet,
Submersing me in an eternity of futility,
Tormenting my soul into believing that my love is worthless,
Like scant evidence to a blind witness.
Agony and shame pounded against my weak crystal skin
And through the cracks fell drops of torture and sin;
Melting away illusions of happiness and significance
Leaving behind a bible of reasons why I’m of no importance.
I fell into depression even when I took no steps.
So I ran into my imagination splitting into madness.
Running was the friend that never left.
Unimaginable pain, yet,
I imagine it to the point of destruction.
I’M A POET, I’M A MONSTER
I’ll give every single dime to time to cure my mind because I can’t deny how rotten I am inside.
And I’m gliding like fingers on wet skin; slipping and I’m falling into a deadly sin.
Falling deeper into my own words, they’re overflowing my existence.
No more space in my brain to stock these statements.
Wishing I could write these letters in the blustery weather.
Write my words in the atmosphere and flip them over simply to analyze the appearance, the taste and how they work together.
My body filters my soul and it goes through my pores melting down to the floor and off to explore.
My heart is on acid, I can feel it burning.
The sensation is acrid but the feeling behind eyelids implores for more.
I’m tired, I’m done, I don’t want this anymore but I’m stuck in translation. There’s no way out, no door.
No possible method for me to be like before
No possible way for me to ignore,
This deep-rooted pain and by the second it grows
It grows and it’s heavy and it pierces like an arrow.
In a slight second a human being can feel all this,
Just by thinking about the love, the kiss they miss
And all the bliss is replaced with falling into a never ending abyss.
I would never force you to love me like I do,
I’m a poet and a monster, I’m afraid of what you turned me into,
And I just can’t wait for the day this completely stops and I breakthrough.